Sharks

Time to write



One day I found out that sharks only kill five people annually. I was shocked. What a surprisingly low statistic. I thought to myself, But sharks are scary. They have all those sharp teeth and fast swimming skills and go all crazy when they smell blood, at least according to Finding Nemo. I wondered if there might not be some flaw in the research, especially when contrasted to the rest of the statistics provided. Let's rearrange the data and see what it tells us.

Least dangerous to most dangerous:
Sharks (5 people)
High School Football (20 people)
Hot dogs (70 people)
Deer (130 people)
Falling out of bed (450 American people. 'Murica.)
Hippos (2,900 people)

This alone could present an awful lot of writing prompts. For example, how embarrassing is it to die by falling out of bed?? How high up are these people's beds? I mean, for real!? And how would you react to finding someone dead who died just by falling out? Creeptastic? I think so.

And do hot dogs in particular kill more kids than other foods? Is this just a choking statistic? Are we giving hot dogs an unnecessarily bad rep? Like there isn't enough negative publicity towards hot dogs anyway.

But the main thing I'd like to know, is why the heck do hippos want to kill so many people!? I feel terribly about that, and feel a hippo story needs to be written soon. Real soon. You know. Along with the other twenty million prompts I still need to address.

I'd be interested to see the other statistics here. How many people does Voldemort kill a year? Less than 70. I mean, we freak out everytime he lets loose a wayward "Avada Kedavra", but is he any more guilty than the hot dog industry? No. I don't think so. And he's nothing compared to a hippo. In fact, if we take his average, he's probably no more harmful than something like a shark. No wonder Snape's patronus is a deer. That way he can be protected from Voldemort, because deer kill way more people annually. So, clearly, even in a fictional world, Harry's fear of Voldemort is completely unfounded. I rest my case.

And here's a cute baby hippo. Just to prove they aren't all born killers.

P.s. who's up for a new "Jaws" movie, but instead of being a shark, is a crazed hippopotamus. I think that's what the film industry needs right now.